Did You Have A Bully-Free Holiday?

Posted by on Jan 17, 2017 in Uncategorized

Matty was always the smaller kid. He was smart, gifted with science, but smaller than his older brother, Tim. For some reason, Tim enjoyed the blood sport of picking on his brother, especially in front of company.  Tim embarrassed Matty about a new girlfriend, about his fender bender, and the last botched haircut.  Matty often appealed to his mom who said, “go work it out with your brother…” Soon Matty stopped asking for help. He was quiet at holiday dinners and retreated into his work just after dessert. He stopped bringing friends home. Once he graduated from college, he avoided holiday get togethers, or only stopped in for a couple hours. He recognized the taunting and disrespect not only hurt, but also took him weeks to recover after visiting family. This all too familiar scenario plays out in the guise of innocence and coming of age.  However, the interaction between Matty and Tim are imprinting on them roles of bully and target.  Children learn early how to self- advocate, endure abuse, or self isolate to avoid the embarrassment when they are young.  The support they receive or are denied also shape their experience around bullying.  What seems like an innocent interaction leaves what Dr. deLara will call, “bullying scars.”  We learn how being bullied as kids, and carry that into adulthood.  Perhaps it is no wonder some of the most epic battles occur over holiday turkey or ham. Throughout the holidays consider: Have you learned to turn your head when friends or family tease you? How can you break that cycle? Have you been the one to pick on others? Consider ways to communicate without shaming. Do your kids come to you to intervene in a dispute? Turning them away sends a message that their self-advocacy is not a viable approach to resolution. The holidays can and should be a safe place to reflect on happy times and family traditions. We learn some of our most cherished values from family.  With this in mind, one such tradition should not include rehearsing power differentials and power struggles that we take into adulthood. Check out Dr. Ellen Walser deLara’s book Bullying Scars The Impact on Adult Life and Relationships from Oxford Press. Happy New Year and have a bully-free 2017. Read more posts by Leah Hollis, Ed.D. here. Leah is a contributing blogger...

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Leah P. Hollis speaks at ACE, addressing costly bullying behaviors in higher education

Posted by on Nov 21, 2016 in Uncategorized

      Leah P. Hollis speaks at ACE, addressing costly bullying behaviors in higher education Leah P. Hollis speaks at ACE, addressing costly bullying behaviors in higher education   WILMINGTON, Del., Nov. 15, 2016 /PRNewswire/ — In this historic moment saturated with bullying, aggression, and incivility, what does bullying cost higher education?  Hollis, President of Patricia Berkly, LLC, and thought leader on workplace bullying in higher education, addresses this question at the American Council on Education (ACE) Women’s Leadership Forum at Clemson University. On average staff enduring bullying and aggression at work spend 3.9 hours a week ruminating, strategizing, and avoiding bullying; in turn, over five weeks annually is lost, per person in employee disengagement.  In addressing close to 50 emerging women leaders, Hollis, also offered her research findings that documented stress leave, resignation, and suicidal ideation for those enduring bullying. Echoing one of the participants in her study she remarked, “It is devastating to have a great career and end up dealing with a bully…” Hollis further commented, “No one is a winner when a bully is allowed to fester.”  In short, organizations that protect or ignore bullies are more likely to have costly turnover and low morale.  She asked the audience, “Think about it…who wants to report to a workplace that is a war zone?” Given the national attention on bullying, more colleges and universities are considering anti-workplace bullying policies. Despite the fact that workplace bullying is typically legal in the United States, many organizations are starting to recognize the debilitating impact on their employees and prohibiting the behavior as a matter of policy. One way to find bullies is to look at the foot traffic. People will leave a department to escape a bully, even take lower paying jobs or horizontal transfers just to escape. High turnover and absenteeism are costly to an organization, and some of the clear signs that something needs to change. Given the stressful times facing higher education, civility is needed more than ever. Dr. Leah P. Hollis will speak at ACE’s Women’s Leadership Forum in Washington, D.C. in late November, 2016. She is the author of Bully in the Ivory Tower: How Aggression and Incivility Erode American Higher Education (2012). Her recent book, The Coercive Community College: Bullying and Its Costly Impact on the Mission to Serve Underrepresented Populations was published by Emerald Publications (UK) (2016). She is an assistant professor at Morgan State University who can be reached through her website at www.diversitytrainingconsultants.com. CONTACT: Warren, 1-610-990-6588 To view the original version on PR Newswire, visit:http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/leah-p-hollis-speaks-at-ace-addressing-costly-bullying-behaviors-in-higher-education-300361845.html ©2016 PR Newswire. All Rights Reserved....

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Inclusion v. Tolerance: More than food for thought

Posted by on Nov 11, 2016 in bullying, inclusion

Over the past year, higher education has had an intense national conversation about the need to diversify its faculty, staff and executive administration. This time has long been coming, as a majority of the young people born are black, brown and beige. The United States is evolving into a “minority-majority” country. When I started my career in the early 1990s, often the word “tolerance” was used. TOLERANCE… and all I could think of is tolerating the taste of bad medicine, tolerating the cold. TOLERANCE. The word doesn’t mean you want me there… just that you tolerate me, put up with me. In 2016, this newer wave of activism by our young people has challenged tolerance and transcended to INCLUSION. The cultures from our community mosaic should be included, and not just in a culinary way. So often inclusion is dealt with by serving different foods from around the world… there is much more to it than that. Inclusion means tempering those micro aggressions, comments that show one’s bias about race, gender, or sexual orientation. Inclusion means allowing and truly inviting other voices to the table, without reprisal. Inclusion means equal pay for equal work, while differential pay shows whom you truly value. Inclusion means striving to understand people who grew up in different communities, backgrounds, and social economic status, and avoid jumping to conclusions about what they/we should or should not study, read, or write. We have an awesome time here; sure change is contentious, but we have a change to truly create that new nation. What we need to realize, is that the change is now, upon us know at work, in school, in our communities. Much more than food for thought. Originally posted on Annie Jennings...

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Is your Brand Nice?

Posted by on Nov 1, 2016 in Uncategorized

For National Bullying Prevention Month- Is Your Brand NICE? By: Leah Hollis, Ed.D.   Yes, I realize I am tweaking a title from a recent Sandra Bullock movie… yet the phrase rings loud in my ears.  Is your brand nice? We all go through this world… a world full of political leaders who spend more time sniping than talking to the true issues.  We have service providers who cut corners, and people who do the bare minimum just to get by.  We live in a country where shootings are commonplace.  Scams and phishing schemes flood the Internet.  Nonetheless, we can still be NICE and sway the balance back to civility. A few weeks back I had to get some service done in my home.  When I called in a panic, the lady answering the phone was NICE.  She understood my panic and continued to gather information, with please and thank you strung along in the conversion. She assured me she understood my concerns and that the company would come out around my hectic schedule. When the service man arrived, he offered a comprehensive explanation of the malfunction.  He told us about upcoming regulations that will affect future service.  He took the time to nicely explain how to prevent the problem again.  Once the service visit was complete, we received a survey on how the service was conducted. While no one wants to face breaking appliances, all I could think when the experience was over… their brand is nice.  The appliance was fixed; we knew what to anticipate in the future and knew how to follow up if there were future problems. Please note I am not saying nice means vacating our responsibility for self- advocacy.   I am not saying we should let people walk over us and be so nice that we are taken advantage of.  I will say, especially in National Bullying Prevention Month, we should be nice to each other.  We should strive to continuously educate each other how to interact with civility. Collectively, our brand should be...

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Olympic State of mind

Posted by on Aug 20, 2016 in Uncategorized

Olympic State of Mind This week the world descends on Rio De Janeiro for the Summer Olympic Games.  The pageantry and excitement hold the attention of the world for the two weeks that world class athletes compete for some of the loftiest accolades in amateur sports.  While the Olympic games bring national pride to any country with participating Olympic athletes, it also is a world-class symbol of diversity. The  Olympic flag with a white background and rings blue, yellow, black, green and red represents the flags of the countries when the modern Olympic games started in 1912.   The Olympics is not only built on diversity, but requires diversity. Athletes from across the globe, regardless of race, gender, or national origin come together to create some of the best athletic competitions in the world, and typically in a sportsman like manner.  This Olympic state of mind that reflects diversity is something we all can continue to embrace in our schools and workplaces. A diverse state of mind from all those who come to the boardroom or homeroom can help us perform at our personal best. Just like the Olympics require a diversity of talents, our workplaces require such as well.  In a historical moment with a particularly contentious political process, with violence and aggression costing lives for citizens and law enforcement alike, we all can strive for an Olympic state of mind. I recognize that the troubles facing our society are not simply solved in reflecting on athletic competition; nonetheless, just as a cross section of global athletes and a fair playing field is needed for a successful Olympics, a cross section of diverse citizens and a fair playing field is also needed for us in our day to day walk of life.  Good luck to the United States Olympic...

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